I have an older sister, and despite the fact that we fought a lot when we were younger, we get along great now, and I'm so lucky to have someone to share all my awesome childhood memories with. I always imagined it would be lonely to be an only child, and just assumed I would have two kids when I grew up. My husband was always on board with this plan, but he got a little hesitant after my traumatic birth.
Now that we have one baby, and are more aware of how much work is involved with being parents, we wonder how we will be able to handle two kids when one is so much work.
Our baby is very sensitive and has high needs in terms of attachment, so I'm a little concerned that if the other child would be similar, it would be tricky to balance taking care of both of them.
There is also the financial aspect of having another baby, of course. At least we would be able to reuse quite a few things, and we would likely have at least some hand-me-downs, but things like diapers and food certainly add up, let alone all the costs as they get older.
Another thing I fear is that I won't be able to give either child enough attention. I would feel bad for not giving my first born the same level of attention once the other baby arrived, and I would feel guilty that the second baby didn't get the same level of attention that the first one had as a newborn. My baby and I are very attached to each other. I'm thinking I would wait until my first baby is at least around two years old before really starting to try for a second baby. I might be done breastfeeding her by then, although we might still be bedsharing, and I'm not sure if I'd want to continue feeding her as well (tandem feeding) as a way to cope with the new baby.
With my low milk supply, I'm not sure how my body would do with tandem feeding or breastfeeding while pregnant.
I still love carrying my baby in front of me in a carrier, which I wouldn't be able to do while pregnant, but if I wait until she's older, then I would no longer be able to do that anyway. Depending on her age, I could also try carrying her in a carrier on my back.
There is also the toll on my body to consider. I'm not worried about pregnancy, as my first pregnancy went very well, but the birth did not go well, and I had a rough recovery. I had lost 30 pounds before getting pregnant last time, gained it back during pregnancy, and then some, lost a little bit right after birth, then increased my calories to try to increase my milk supply, and ended up gaining another 16 pounds beyond my 9 months pregnant weight. I'm now working on getting my weight back down again. It's a slow process, but I'm getting there - I've lost about 33 pounds so far.
Getting pregnant would mean gaining and losing all the weight once again, which I'm fine with.
It also took us just under a year to conceive our first baby, so it's hard to predict how long it would take to even get pregnant. It's hard to try to time it out based on the age difference, when it might take longer than we think.
There are so many factors to consider when thinking of whether to try having another baby, or when to try having another baby. I'm still hoping we will, but also enjoying my time with our baby girl, and enjoying only having one for now, because although it is challenging, it will only get more challenging with two kids.
The main concern is the financial aspect of having another child, especially if I become a stay-at-home Mom.
I really hope it can all happen though. We'll see what the future brings.
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