My Birth Story

In starting a Mom blog, the logical first step would be to go over how I became a Mom, so here is my birth story:

When I was 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant, I was still showing no signs of going into labor, so at my OB appointment, I had a cervical check and a membrane sweep (OUCH). The next day, I started having some back pain in the evening. We had gone shopping that day and filled up the fridge with food for the upcoming week - much of which would end up getting thrown out because it went bad while we were in the hospital. I was too sure that I'd be late going into labor. I remember bouncing on the exercise ball while we cooked supper, and saying how my back kept hurting and then getting better. Little did I know, I was experiencing early back labor. At every appointment, they had told me my baby was in the proper position, based on what they thought they had felt, but it turned out she was backwards. The back pain continued into the night, getting closer and closer together, until around midnight my body decided it was time to evacuate all systems and prepare to deliver. After spending some time in the washroom, I decided I was in labor and we should go to the hospital. We packed up the last of the hospital bag and headed out. By this time, it was about 2AM, and my contractions (the intermittent back pain, since that's all it felt like) were about two minutes apart.

I was very hopeful that by the time we got to the hospital, I'd be quite far along, and the baby would arrive soon. When we showed up, I think I was about 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. They admitted me and got me set up in a labor and delivery room.

Before I go any further, I want to clarify what my birth plan was. My hope was to have a natural, unmedicated, vaginal birth, using water as my primary pain relief. I had even briefly considered a home birth. Unfortunately, our hospital doesn't have birthing tubs, as that would've been my ideal scenario, but there was a bathtub in the delivery room bathroom. I also really wanted to do skin-to-skin for an hour or two and try breastfeeding right after delivery, as well as delayed umbilical cord clamping.

Everything ended up being essentially the complete opposite of my birth plan.

After being admitted to the hospital, I spent a number of hours in the tub, as well as some time on the exercise balls. Having back labor really threw a wrench on my plan to go unmedicated, as the pain became so unbearable. My water never broke, so the nurse had to break it for me. They also ended up giving me Pitocin at one point (which I had really been hoping to avoid) because I wasn't progressing quickly enough. When the pain started getting unmanageable, I tried the nitrous oxide, which didn't make any noticeable difference, so I had to progress to the next option, which was an IV of Fentanyl. This did not help with the pain at all, but instead made me throw up. My body has always had a strangely high tolerance to substances, and never seems to react as expected. With the other options proving ineffective, I had to get the epidural, as I could not handle the pain at that point. This was a hard call to make, as I had really not wanted to get an epidural, but I knew it was the only option left, and I had to do whatever I could. I had already been in labor for many hours at this point, the pain was beyond unbearable, and there was much more laboring still ahead of me. The epidural had to be increased quite a few times, but it eventually did work to numb the pain, and I felt so much better.

After the epidural took effect, there were quite a few more hours of labor, waiting to be fully dilated. I believe this was when they had administered the Pitocin because things were moving too slowly. Once I was finally fully dilated, the pushing started. They told me when to push, since I couldn't feel the contractions.

During the end of my pregnancy, I would get really bad acid reflux because my belly was squishing all my internal organs. This acid reflux decided to show up again when I was trying to push the baby out (fun!). Every time I bared down to push, the reflux would come up and make me breathe, which would ruin the pressure I was trying to build. I drank lots of water and took Tums, but nothing would calm it down. This was quite detrimental to the pushing. They also said that I have a tilted pelvis, in addition to the baby not being properly positioned, which makes it even harder to push a baby out. After three hours of pushing, I hadn't made much progress, and we found out that the baby had pooped inside the amniotic sac, so there was a risk that she could aspirate the meconium.

At this point, they gave me the option of either using forceps and more pushing (ugh), or having a C-section (which would require that the baby be pushed back up, to counter all the pushing I had already done). Since a C-section was the last thing I wanted, it was a very hard decision to make.

Ultimately, I was just too afraid of the risks with forceps, and pushing hadn't been going well, so I decided to go with the C-section.

Once I had made the decision to have the C-section, I was able to relax and let it happen. Even though it wasn't what I had wanted, I accepted that that was how my baby was going to be born. I was so exhausted from laboring for around twenty four hours at this point, and I was just so ready to meet my baby. The C-section itself was quite easy. It felt very weird, as I could feel the pressure and movement, but thankfully no pain (the epidural had to be increased again before the surgery because of my crazy high tolerance). Unfortunately, I got extremely shaky during and after the surgery. When my baby girl was born, I remember hearing her beautiful cry, and apparently my husband did cut the cord, which I didn't get to see. They brought her over and put her on me, and I couldn't get over how adorable she was. I was so happy to finally meet her! All I wanted to do was hold her, but unfortunately I was shaking so much, I had to pass her to my husband, because I was too nervous that I didn't have a good hold on her or that she would be shaken too much. It was beautiful to watch the two of them bond.

Once I was out of surgery, I was unfortunately still shaking a lot, but I held her again for a while, and tried feeding her. She was so good at breastfeeding, and loved it right from the start, which has helped immensely in my low supply issues (but that's a story for another post).

I have grieved that I didn't get the birth I wanted, but I went into it knowing that that does often happen, and my main goal was only for baby and me to be healthy, which thankfully was accomplished. The doctors said that I can likely try for a VBAC if I have another baby, so I might get another chance at my ideal birth. I am just so happy that my baby is here, and we are bonding more every day.

It was a rough journey, but the destination is more beautiful than I ever could've imagined, and I'm just so grateful that we're both safe and sound. Being her Mom is the best thing I've ever experienced in my life.

Feel free to share your own birth story in the comments!